Animatic: https://vimeo.com/153353123
Password: Apollo
This is the animatic I’ve shown to Geert van Goethem and Johan Verzyck.
I think I’m almost there, but the feedback has got me thinking about the ending.
Geert seemed to think the progress was going OK, although he said the visual style will have to be very interesting.
Johan also said this, but added that the ending was unclear: it seems that the flying into the sun was just one of the many actions they perform that we see throughout the movie.
It should be way more obvious that the protagonist leaves Mars because he/she has had enough, and that he/she flies into the sun because he/she has had enough. Not by adding extra scenes, but by literally saying so.
He also wasn’t convinced that I should use multiple voice-actors for the voice-over, as it sounds that the text was written to be read by a single person.
I think I’ll still record two voice-overs, one male and one female, and experiment with the final sounds, seeing what will fit best. If it doesn’t work, I’ll just use one of them.
I completely agree that if the ending is unclear, I should make it more clear, so all viewers will immediately understand. Hearing the sun very loudly as we see our Martians become the centre of the human world, seemed like a nice and fitting ending. I think replacing the sun's sounds with “ah shit, everyone’s doing this”, will make it a bit of a joke and anti-climatic. So the current plan is to rewrite a part of the last paragraph to make it more clear that our protagonist is leaving the second planet in search for ultimate individuality on a third planet, which we will then see, is the sun: the planet in the center of them all. This way, the last scene remains unchanged and hopefully, will clear things out.
Password: Apollo
This is the animatic I’ve shown to Geert van Goethem and Johan Verzyck.
I think I’m almost there, but the feedback has got me thinking about the ending.
Geert seemed to think the progress was going OK, although he said the visual style will have to be very interesting.
Johan also said this, but added that the ending was unclear: it seems that the flying into the sun was just one of the many actions they perform that we see throughout the movie.
It should be way more obvious that the protagonist leaves Mars because he/she has had enough, and that he/she flies into the sun because he/she has had enough. Not by adding extra scenes, but by literally saying so.
He also wasn’t convinced that I should use multiple voice-actors for the voice-over, as it sounds that the text was written to be read by a single person.
I think I’ll still record two voice-overs, one male and one female, and experiment with the final sounds, seeing what will fit best. If it doesn’t work, I’ll just use one of them.
I completely agree that if the ending is unclear, I should make it more clear, so all viewers will immediately understand. Hearing the sun very loudly as we see our Martians become the centre of the human world, seemed like a nice and fitting ending. I think replacing the sun's sounds with “ah shit, everyone’s doing this”, will make it a bit of a joke and anti-climatic. So the current plan is to rewrite a part of the last paragraph to make it more clear that our protagonist is leaving the second planet in search for ultimate individuality on a third planet, which we will then see, is the sun: the planet in the center of them all. This way, the last scene remains unchanged and hopefully, will clear things out.